I havent posted in a while because i didnt no what to say or how to say it but i feel like its time..

I was kicked out of the barn at the begining of june. Im no longer aloud to ride there because my trainer is mad at my dad.

this means that im no longer aloud to ride freedom or see freedom.  obviously this was crushing i miss him all the time. every time i ride i think about him. He was the first horse i ever really loved and he will always have a special place in my heart. 

I wanted to buy him but my trainer is so angry she would "rather shot that horse in the head" than sell him to me. I dont know what else to do. 

Im not even sure if i want to keep ridding.

 im looking for a horse but i worry i wont love the horse.

this is my last post.

Rode freedom in the field today with kat. Emily took pics! (shes putting them on my blog soon). Flat was great until we worked on bending and going round...that didnt go over well with freedom. He gave in for a little while but would start throwing his head around eventually. Hoping he'll be better @ it soon. Jumping was worse. he was jumping everything too big and we had no brakes ohh freedom, jumping in the feild makes him so happy he forgets to listen. 

Rode freedom in the field today. Jumped a couple jumps, but mostly galloped around, he had sooo much fun. then we went on a trail ride. normally he spooks @ everything, but today he was perfect. sooo hot!!!!!! lesson friday (:

Just Playing in the indoor with freedom & kate (: 

Showed freedom today. We stared of getting 4th out of 5 in our flat :/ Then we got 3rd out of 5 when he knocked a rail. 5th out of five when i hit my face on the saddle over a jump cuz freedom decided he wasnt going to listen. But we finished strong with a 2nd out of five. Im so proud of him considering he just started work again this friday night, and he hasnt jumped in the field since last year. 

Freedom is still lame. I rode a pony named Abbey instead. shes normally a really awkward jumper, but i figured out tht if you stay in a half-seat the whole time shes sooooo much better. We jumped a couple of a different courses,she listened really well, and she did lead changes too! Hopefully freedom will be better by sunday, because we have a horse show...

....Freedom just became rideable friday...ive only ridden him twice since then...i go down to tack him up today...and his back right is swollen and has heat in it....fml...the best part is we have a show this sunday...i hate life...