Dumb and Bay

I havent posted in a while because i didnt no what to say or how to say it but i feel like its time..

I was kicked out of the barn at the begining of june. Im no longer aloud to ride there because my trainer is mad at my dad.

this means that im no longer aloud to ride freedom or see freedom.  obviously this was crushing i miss him all the time. every time i ride i think about him. He was the first horse i ever really loved and he will always have a special place in my heart. 

I wanted to buy him but my trainer is so angry she would "rather shot that horse in the head" than sell him to me. I dont know what else to do. 

Im not even sure if i want to keep ridding.

 im looking for a horse but i worry i wont love the horse.

this is my last post.